“So, are you ready to turn 30?”
This was a question I heard a lot in the months and days leading up to my birthday, and it was always interesting to hear the tone in which the question was asked.
Sometimes, the question was seeped in excitement, filled with the anticipation of reaching a new chapter and imagining the adventures ahead.
And sometimes, the question hung heavy with dread, as cloudy thoughts of closed doors and missed Forbes list appearances lingered.
So, am I ready?
As one of the oldest in my group of friends, I had the privilege of hitting this milestone first a few months ago. And over the past few months, I’ve gotten the chance to sit and reflect on leaving my 20s and entering my 30s.
Pressure Check
I knew my 30s weren’t going to be the same when my doctor said, “Hey um, your blood pressure’s looking a little high.”
Um, what? Getting my blood pressure checked at the doctor’s was generally one of those routine things that I ignored. I mean, c’mon I get like 10,000 steps a day, I’m healthy, right? But today was different.
“Uh, can you check again?”
After a few more tests, same result: 150/110.
Hoooly shit this is bad. Is this it? Is this the end of Julio?
Fast forward a few months, no this was not the end. Consistent workouts and finally eating ugh, salads, brought me back down to a normal level.
I had always imagined that my 30s were going to be like my 20s, except with money. But the scare at the doctor’s made me realize, no, a lot more was going to change.
The melancholy in “Are you ready to turn 30?” is the realization that there’s a lot I’ll be leaving behind in my 20s. The ability to consume whatever I want without consequence is one. But there are also experiences that I won’t be able to relive.
Even though I graduated in 2016, my post-college 20s sometimes felt like a continuing studies program at the Univer-City of San Francisco. Instead of classes, every new job brought new learnings–and I was getting paid. San Francisco felt massive and friends were taking me to new places every day. The social life I cultivated outside of work felt like the natural evolution of what I was doing in college, except for partying at bars and nightclubs instead of in our dorms.
But as I got closer to 30, something started to change. I noticed that my friends and I weren’t the youngest people going out anymore. Staying up until sunrise on the weekends going out and eating boxes of Korean Fried Chicken was a struggle. And there are only so many places to explore in San Francisco. What once felt like a massive metropolis shrank as I got to know the city.
Turning 30 didn’t hit me as hard as I expected, because a part of me felt like I had already graduated from my 20s. After 7 years, what had been new and exciting started to feel routine, and I felt myself aging out of some of the things I had been doing. The shock of the blood pressure reading felt like officially putting a pin on my 20s. There was no kidding myself, I’m 30. I eat salads now.
Base Building
But after leaving my 20s, I’m thankful to be entering my 30s on solid footing.
I’m obsessed with strategy games and nerd out on Civilization. And in any game, I start by exploring the world, harvesting resources, and investing in my empire.
The “continuing studies” of my 20s felt a lot like that.
Over several years, I built out established friend groups in San Francisco and spent my weekends deepening relationships and creating fond memories. At the same time, I’ve solidly established my career in product management, a field where I can exercise both my creative and social muscles. And instead of solely being an observer, I’ve begun my journey as an active participant in local San Francisco politics, working with organizers and electeds to build a better city.
After establishing your empire in Civilization, the next step is planning out your victory. Whether that’s through military domination, technological prowess, or cultural persuasion is up to the foundations built by the player.
At 30 the question for me is, now what? Besides an existential crisis of course.
With San Francisco starting to feel old, I wondered if it was time for a change. Having had several friends move to New York City has given me a strong nudge to join them. And moving to Mexico City has always sat at the back of my head. Was it time I finally left the bay?
At the same time, charging forward in my product management career opened a lot more doors and with it, a lot more choices. As someone who values independence, the corporate product world felt constraining yet I also appreciated the stability. Starting my own thing has always sat at the back of my head, but would it be sustainable? And with my involvement with politics I wondered, was it time I focused more of my energy there?
The excitement around “So, are you ready to turn 30” is the realization of the many opportunities ahead of you. But which road to choose?
As I hit 30, I felt like it was the perfect opportunity to take a step back to reflect.
Pathfinding
After 7 years of focusing on my career, I decided to leave my startup job in August and embark on a journey exploring cities around the world. I wanted to spend some time with my own thoughts and meet people with different backgrounds and values. I also wanted some time outside the Bay Area bubble. After spending so much time in a culture that puts productivity on a pedestal, I wanted to spend some unproductive time guilt-free. So I celebrated my 30th birthday with friends in New York City and stuffed my calendar with trips, trekking across Europe, Asia, and Mexico.
At the end of my trips, I was hit with something I wasn’t expecting… boredom. I was meeting a lot of people, walking a bunch, and eating loads (probably could have done with a few more salads). But I felt like I wasn’t doing anything. I found myself neglecting some of my other needs. And that’s when I got a little more clarity of what I’d like my 30s to look like.
For one, I realized that relationships and social life are just as important to me today as they were in my 20s. While traveling, I missed the relationships and community I had in San Francisco. I love making new friends, but making time for existing relationships is even more important. But I also found that I get energy working together with others. I actually found myself missing the social life at work, as I get a lot of energy working together on a shared goal. In my 30s, I hope to continue to make great memories with friends and build with others.
With a few months of pure consumption came the realization that I want to take a more conscious role in investing in myself. My body’s not the same as it was at 20, meaning more of an emphasis on exercising and… salads. But I also feel the urge to feed my creative side. While my career in product management offers some avenues to be creative, they can be constrained by business needs. I recently signed up for classical guitar and Swift/iOS development courses to stretch some creative muscles. In my 30s, I want to make sure to dedicate some extra time for creativity.
After the side quests of travel felt the nagging feeling to return to my main objective. But as I think about my career in my 30s, I see several paths forward. Continuing up the ladder of corporate product is one. But I’m more excited with the prospect of putting the entrepreneurial skills I’ve picked up on the job to the test. Whether that’s something small on the side or a fully-fledged venture, I’m not sure yet. I’ve also gotten much more involved in local politics and the YIMBY movement. I’m still not sure if that’s an area I want to focus even more on.
Traveling let me experience a lot of amazing cities, but only at the surface level. While walkability and good urbanism are important to me, I realize that community is just as valuable. My 30s may see me continuing to invest in the community I have built in San Francisco. But I’m open to moving, whether it’s following friends in New York City or getting closer to my roots in Mexico City. But I do know that wherever I go, it’s got to be walkable.
As I enter my next decade, I’m coming in with a feeling of optimism. I don’t have it all figured out. But I’m thankful for the relationships and friends that have got me to where I am today. From having spent the last years growing and making some small dents in the world, I’m looking forward to continuing to build on my relationships, invest in myself, and make bigger impacts. There’s a lot to look forward to. Except for maybe the salads.